I signed up to his mailing list, erm I mean, became a member of the “Paul Foot Guild of Connoisseurs” and have been following on and off ever since.

Check this email out that I just received from him, detailing the Paul Foot Festival. Anyone else up for it?

Greetings, Connoisseur

Next month, in Bethnal Green, the event of a lifetime is to occur: the Paul Foot Hungamunga Comedy Festival. An all-day 12-hour extravaganza. Have a look at the programme, which I have invented using my own mind:

The Paul Foot Comedy Festival

Sundae 12th Julie 2009 Anno Domino. Noon o’clock till midnight

Schedule of events (all timings are either exact or approximate):

Noon o’cock Doors open. Mingle, meet, greet, mill, shilly and shally

One o’cock Main stage Officious opening by an impostor

One-thirty Foot stage Rant by Mr Paul Foot

Two o’cock Main stage &nbsp! ; Paul Foot’s afternoon mime

Half-past two Foot stage Warped fantasy from the brain of Mr Paul Foot

Three o’cock Round & about Paul Foot s Nonsense Game, followed by Paint the Adonis

Three-thirty o’cock Foot stage Rant from Paul Foot

Four o’cock Everywhere Relax with a cuppa* and cake* and enjoy the murder mystery, “Murder on the High Teas” with your host Inspector Foot of Scotland Yarn. This goes on for a whole frigging hour

*included in entry cost

Five o’cock &n! bsp; Ma! in stage Paul Foot’s Protégés (part wan). Paul Foot changes from one of his many characters to another and introduces his favourite new acts, including Joel Domet, Tania Edwards, Tom Bell and Tiny Little Lukie McQueen . Observe Lord Ghost, The Killer, Pirate Paul, The Trawlerman, Dariah Drunkard and many more or less

Six o’cock Main stage Paul Foot’s Protégés (part too)

Seven o’cock Main stage Mr Paul Foot’s Childish Twenty-Minute Sketch Show

30 minutes past 7 Foot stage A rant from Mr Paul Foot

45 minutes past 7 Round & about Flamingo I-spy results

Eight o’cock &nbsp! ; Main stage Mr Paul Foot’s crime lecture

8œ hours after 12 Foot stage Paul Foot’s weird and, frankly, wrong fantasy from his muddled mind

8 Ÿ hours after 12 Round & about Plasticine model-making results

Nine o’cock Main stage Misty’s Big Adventure. A top quality band make a performance for about forty three minutes, rudely interrupted by:

Nine-thirty Foot stage Mr Paul Foot’s rant

Ten o’cock Main stage Paul s evening mime

Ten-thirty Foot stage Mr Paul Foot s final fantasy from hi! s fervent imagination

Eleven o’cock &nb! sp;&nbsp ; Main stage Mr Paul Foot’s Climactic Performance of a Lifetime

Midnight Go to your beds

The following events will be going on all day:

Erotic Menu* – Order an erotic recorder recital, dance, poem or erotic poem from Mr Paul Foot
* Charges apply, ranging from 5p to 20p

Crafts sewing, knitting, etc.

Flamingo I-spy

Plasticine modelling

Abacus-enhanced kissing matching service

Invisible man contest (pointless)

Ghost hunt (withdrawn)

The creation by everybody of a sculpture of Mr Paul Foot

I am very excited about this event. Tickets cost £15 for all-day admission, but you can get them for 12 pounds in advance. You can see more details on my site: http://www.paulfoot.tv and also at http://moondoglovesyou.ning.com/page/hungamungas-paul-foot where you can buy tickets.

God dress you

from Mr Paul Foot, Life President, the Guild of Paul Foot Connoisseurs

P.S. In the unpleasant event that you wish to betray me by leaving the Guild, you can do so by visiting: http://www.paulfoot.tv/guild_subscription.html

May I introduce The Barlow Bar-Crawl – in celebration of Deirdre Barlows 54th Birthday!

Wonder how many deirdres will be waking up on Saturday morning with strained neck muscles?

“On Friday 20th June at 7.30pm – we will all gather in Exchange Square, Manchester City Centre (where the big wheel is). Boys MUST be dressed as Ken and Girls MUST be dressed as Deirdre!!!”
Galaxy Manchester

“She can read and write and has expressed the desire to go on a boat and to see a Robbie Williams concert.”
Sky News

But Andy from Manchester points out: