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Too Fat for a Single Seat? Interesting this. In 2006 I took a flight from Cape town to Manchester and I had to endure the twelve and a half hour journey stuck next to a right chubbster. Doesn’t sound too bad looking back on it, “I had to sit next to someone who was kind of in my personal space for a bit” so what, but at the time it was a big deal. You know how it gets at airports. You’re patronised and subjected to lots of checks, there’s a hideous amount of bureaucracy to deal with, you get checked-in, humiliated going through security and then when you finally get to the gate things don’t really improve. You’re stuck in limbo with thousands of other people all trying to waste time till the plane boards because, like you, they just don’t want to be there. No-one does. Not even the fucking staff. Despite what kind of a picture that might paint about flying with me, I’m actually pretty good at it. I can’t imagine what it must be like for the kind of unbucklers that are hanging half out into the aisle and switching-on their phones the moment the plane breaches 500ft, it must be hell, but they should learn that what they’re doing is not helping them. That kind of an attitude at an airport will just send you crazy. I’m also ready for it. If I’ve booked to fly Easyjet from Gatwick I know I’m going to be manhandled through the airport, rammed onto a cramped Airbus A320 with two hundred and ninety nine of the aforementioned unbucklers and then badgered with a series of nonstop pointless fucking announcements for the entire duration of the flight. Hey, It was cheap! What I’m getting at is that even I, Paul Fletcher, expert world traveler (haha) still find myself occasionally going a bit odd at airports and that the flight I took from South Africa that day really was made more uncomfortable than it needed to be by having a massive fatty coming over into my seat because the armrests were up. Well that was four years ago but fatty-flying is back in the news again because actor and director Kevin Smith was ordered to disembark from a flight very recently because his size meant he was a safety risk! Whilst I find it hard to believe that Kev has got so fat that he poses a danger to the flight, I definitely can’t disaggree with making fatties buy two seats. Particularly after my flight was ruined by a right chubbster. OK so, it’s not quite exactly how I feel. Number one, kevin isn’t actually too fat to fir in a seat, not too fat to fly and not so fat that other people are going to be impacted. Also if he was, I wouldn’t agree with the way he was treated. According to Southwest he had booked two seats but got the chance to catch an earlier flight, on which only one seat was available. He physically fit into it “armrests down” but he was still to get off and wait for his scheduled flight. What I like here is that Southwest actually has a proper policy about it, you can book two seats for a single person and if the plane isn’t at capacity when you take off, they’ll let you have it for free by refunding your money. Sounds completely reasonable to me. What I don’t like though is that looking at Southwests apology to him I can only presume that they were a bit fucking rude about it. Subtle as sledgehammers. Here’s a picture of the man himself just before he was unceremoniously asked to leave, just wanted to mention this because I still stand by what I said, if you can’t fit, then it’s two seats pls!
Comments! FLETCH Mon 02 Feb 2010 Here's Kevins take on the matter! :-) Had three seats/whole row for me & Jen. She skipped SF, so I went solo checked in and was given the 2 tix there & return 2 (for that p.m.) Going out, even with 2 tix, I only sat in one seat, sleeping against window, w/empty seat between me and follow passenger. Coming back would have been the same, at 7pm. But I got to the airport early enough to try to bump-up my flight to 5:20 - a practice @SouthwestAir does often. I was told 5:20 flight was packed, but I could go Standby. They sent me to gate. Told lady whole story, and she said there wouldn't be two seats on that earlier flight. I said I only needed one seat & that I didn't buy an extra seat because I'm fat (which I am), but because I'm anti-social and didn't want to sit next to someone & possibly have to make convo (in person, I'm very shy). She said she understood. I was issued the solo ticket. I get on the plane: open seat in the front row. Put my bag away, the sit between two ladies. As I'm about to buckle my extender-less seatbelt, the woman who issued the ticket to me appeared in the doorway of the plane, came over to me and said the Captain said I wasn't going to be allowed to sit there because I was a safety risk. I asked for clarification and was given none (also asked "Please don't do this" but that, too, fell on deaf ears. Ladies on either side said I wasn't a problem. SWA-lady said arm-rests the decider. Arm-rests come down, and voila! I'm legit! I've passed the stinkin' arm-rest-test. And still, the lady asks me to get up and come with her off the plane. I get up without a fuss at all, quietly grab my bag, make eye contact with a fellow Fatty who was praying he'd pass, and leave. You think I wanna fuck around on an airplane? I was right: I fit in that seat. But I can't risk not complying: I'm more afraid of AirFeds. Leave a Reply |
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Hello! Fletch.cx has been going since 1999 in one form or another, yep incredible, when will it end? For more of my bullshit see last.fm, lluckj.com, facebook and if you really want a constant avalanche of musings, observations and lies then follow me on twitter..
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