The Half Marabastard

I am doing a half marathon in aid of Woking hospice. Jesus Christ. Here, straight from justgiving.com/halfmarathonnightmare/ is my reason: Woking Hospice really looked after Rob Kinsey and his family during his illness. Kinsey was a total top-banana and the hospice deserves this incredibly modest donation to keep providing formidable support to people. Please donate generously I absolutely hate running half marathons, I did one in reading 8 years ago and it was horrible.

The End of Freemium?

The novelty of publicly sharing all of your stuff online is definitely coming to an end, I can feel it. Lots of my friends are techies and have always had pretty tight privacy settings online, but even my non-techie pals are getting in on the action. Gone are the days when you could click on a friend-of-a-friend and see their most intimate nights out on the town, no chance. People are rightly wising up.

Tamar Tantrums

Drove over the Tamar Bridge today and those sneaky Cornish buggers make you pay for that privilege on the way back (I notice it was bloody free to drive over it on the way into Cornwall a few days before). Obviously because I live like the Queen I don’t carry cash so the £1.50 that they wanted wasn’t forthcoming - I handed the cashier my card and he looked at it like it was the first piece of plastic he’d seen before asking me if I had my chequebook on me.

Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee

Here is a picture of me with Paul Daniels and the lovely Debbie McGee that I just uncovered at my parents! I very clearly remember remember this, we were on holiday in Devon and the Paul Daniels Magic Show was being filmed at a pub near to where we were staying, in fact the final trick might even have been broadcast live from there. The pub was called ‘Pack o Cards’ and the final act involved Paul appearing to guess the wrong card at the end of an illusion then saying something like “oh heck, well is it this one?

Dream Phone Service

Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee Is there a mobile phone provider that offers a proper converged service? I’d like to be able to open up my account online, and have access to all the features I currently have through my handset but fronted on the web. Send a text, reply to a text, add someone to my address book, all synced properly in order with my phone. I want to be able to look at the MMS I received on a big screen and search through my text history for that restaurant recommendation someone gave me a couple of months back.

My Billionth Birthday

For the most part these “milestone” birthdays are a lot of utter nonsense, and I’m going to tell you why. Initially the ages that we celebrate have a real cause. The 1st, 13th, 16th, 17th and 18th are all proper milestones because they can be associated with either a particularly impressive feat or some sort of eligibility level. A right being granted to you. At age 1, you’ve just managed to get through the most fragile year of your life, hooray!

Biro Poem

I’ve written a poem about BIROS, the little PENNY BASTARDS. I’m fucking sick of finding biros they’re everywhere I look they’re stuck in mugs lost down the couch in every single nook I don’t know where they fucking come from I never write things down and yet when someone phones me up there’s never one around I can’t ever use the hoover without one going up the tube and then I have to dig around

Top Five Fish

5 - Herring The Herring is utterly abundant, there’s fucking LOADS of it left which is great for the sea because herring are well into plankton and they consume a massive amount of it. It’s also great for us because they’re bloody delicious. Get it down your neck, grill some whole herring and eat it with some spuds and a few veg. TOP TOP TOP. 4 - Kipper Kippers for breakfast, delicious with knob of butter.

Backwards Technology

Why do technologies sometimes go backwards? Take the humble mouse. Years ago they had three useful buttons. Then they dropped down to two and got scroll wheels. There have been exciting forays into side-buttons, built-in rollerballs, mice that accept gestures or squeezes and of course there was the truly terrible mighty mouse which only had one button but was supposed to detect when you were trying to use it as a two-button.

Where are You?

ok so the experiment was interesting. For those of you not paying attention I’ve been running an app on my phone - N82 - that uploads the phones gps position to a third party every minute or so which I can stick on a google map and then display on here. In other words anyone that fancies it can comes here and view a map with a little person drawn on it that represents me live right now!

Ziggy Plays Guitar

To celebrate a year of being in their new house, Paul and Jen had a fancy dress party - the theme of which was “Heroes and Villains”. For a change I had loads of ideas and loads of time to prepare but I still ended up leaving it till the last minute. First off I was supposed to be going as a box of cadburys heroes.. see what I’ve done there?