The record for biggest shit-hole I’ve ever stayed in (previously held by the “Turtles Refuge” in Victoria BC) has been eclipsed by the “Chaing-Mai Guest House”! It was pretty bad.

Lizards everywhere (both human and reptile) no glass in the windows (which were barred) and a bedroom door that had clearly taken multiple kickings. The shared bathroom on my floor was vile, there’s no light, which is probably a blessing. I guess that’s what you get for the equivalent of 68p a night.

A sign on the wall in each corridor stated “DO NOT bring outside man or woman here. 500bhat fine!” It seems that the inmates (guests) have a habit of bringing back all sorts of whores and ladyboys, often waking in the morning minus their cash and other luxury items like smartphones and internal organs.

I had a bad enough first night there without a ladyboy.

After a few beers I fell asleep at 4 in the afternoon and I didn’t wake till midnight. I was quite ill and drifted in and out of freakish nightmares and hallucinations between vomiting and diarrhoea sessions till the sun came up. My head was cracking open. Much later I found out that this behaviour was likely down to taking Larium to ward off Malaria.

Needless to say I’d rather have Malaria and I’ve extracated myself from the Chang Mai Doss House and moved over to somewhere called the Royal Guesthouse which is a much better standard and I just found out actually owned by the same people.

It’s £4 a night which is some step-up but that gets you a double room, a decent pool and I have a balcony too. Sorted. Concierge, laundry service and closer to town.

Feels like The Ritz.

Going to buy new stuff at the market tonight. Shoes and shorts. The weather is nicer up north and it’s nowhere near as polluted as Bangkok.

Jungle is where it’s at. Peace.

These 324 words were written on Wed Jun 28, 2006
travel thailand