Jungle is where it's at.

The record for biggest shit-hole I've ever stayed in (previously held by the “Turtles Refuge” in Victoria BC) has been eclipsed by the “Chaing-Mai Guest House”! It was pretty bad.

Lizards everywhere, no glass in the windows (which were barred) and a bedroom door that had clearly taken multiple kickings. The shared bathroom on my floor is vile, there's no light, which is probably a blessing. I guess that’s what you get for the equivalent of 70p a night.

A sign on the wall in each corridor stated "DO NOT bring outside man or woman here. 500bhat fine!" It seems that the inmates guests have a habit of bringing back all sorts of whores and ladyboys, often waking in the morning minus their cash and other luxury items.

I had a bad enough first night there without a ladyboy.

I fell asleep at 4 in the afternoon after having a couple of pints in town and I didn't wake till midnight. I was quite ill and drifted in and out of freakish nightmares and hallucinations between vomiting and diarrhoea sessions till the sun came up. My head was cracking open. Much later I found out that this behaviour was likely down to taking Larium.

Needless to say I’ve extracated myself from that particular place and moved over to somewhere called the Royal Guesthouse which is a much better standard and actually owned by the same people.

It's £4 a night which is some step-up but that gets you a double room, a decent pool and I have a balcony too. Sorted. Concierge, laundry service and in a better place in town. Feels like The Ritz.

Going to buy new stuff at the market tonight. Shoes and shorts. The weather is nicer up north and it’s nowhere near as polluted as Bangkok.

Jungle is where it's at. Massiv.